My nights used to end with me collapsing into bed after one too many tequila shots. Now…? They end with me collapsing into bed after two exhausting bedtime routines, followed by a binge-watching session of Orange is the New Black. And with the new season of the show premiering this month, , I can’t help but think…
You know, in some ways, life on Orange is the New Black is easier than life as a mom.
- Meals are not only cooked for you, but they are served to you.
- No judgment for wearing elastic waistband pants.
- When somebody throws a tantrum, no need to deal with it — just let the guards put them in solitary, er… a time-out.
- Actually have a 1 out of 3 chance of getting to pee by yourself with the door closed.
- Low expectations in the beauty and grooming department.
- Thin bed mattress is more comfortable than floor of baby’s room while trying to soothe teething infant.
- Okay, sure, there is still somebody peeing on your floor — but at least it only happens once!