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10 Ridiculous Excuses Kids Have Given for Not Eating Their Food

A preschooler’s delicacy
A preschooler’s delicacy

Food must meet at least one of three important criteria before my daughter will agree to let it pass her lips:  1)  It must be packaged in a bag adorned with cartoon characters; and/or 2)  It must be drowning in ketchup; and/or 3)  It must be ketchup.  Seriously, just spoonfuls upon spoonfuls of ketchup.

Some parents buy Happy Meals for their kids at McDonald’s.  Suckers.  All I have to do is grab a handful of ketchup packets from the condiments bar and yell, “LUNCH IS SERVED!”

If I have the audacity to serve food that does not meet these requirements, my daughter offers any number of excuses for not consuming it — and the less sense they make, the better.  It doesn’t matter if she LOVED macaroni last week.  Now it’s touching the blue part of her plate; therefore, it is inedible.  The peanut butter and jelly sandwiches she’s always devoured?  Today, “it has bread on it” and you know what that means:  SHE WILL NOT TOUCH IT WITH A TEN-FOOT POLE.

Meanwhile, my son will eat her macaroni, bread and ten-foot-pole.  Then he’ll ask what the main course is.  But that’s another story altogether.

So I asked friends and readers what ridiculous excuses their children, nieces, nephews, cousins, etc. have provided for not eating their otherwise perfectly fine food.  Here’s a sampling of what those crazy — er, I mean, creative — kids of yours have come up with (thanks for the laughs, guys!):

10 Ridiculous Excuses Kids Have Given for Not Eating Their Food

#10 – “I can’t eat dinner tonight, because I have to drink my milk. If I have both, I will throw up and since you work way too hard, it’s hard for you to clean up the mess.”
#9 – “I can’t eat vegetables hot.”
#8 – “Vegetables are not for boys.”
#7 – “I can’t, it’s not sausage!”
#6 – “I only like the tree part of the broccoli because it tickles me in my belly. I can’t have the bark part of the broccoli because it gets stuck going down.”
#5 – “When one of my cousins was about 6 years old, she claimed she didn’t want to eat her ice cream because it was too cold.”
#4 – “I won’t eat that mac-n-cheese. Nothing that looks like puke goes in these lips…”
#3 – “My baby sister came up with the family winner for not eating her carrots: ‘If I eat it, what will the starving kids in Africa eat?!”
#2 – 3YO:  “Uh-uh.  I don’t like it.”  ME:  “How do you know if you’ve never tried it?”  3YO:  “I never tried it because I don’t like it.”  ME:  Who’s on first?  3YO:  Huh?
#1 – “I’m full of my peas, but I’m hungry for Oreos.”  (I have to admit, I’ve used this one myself.)

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